


Better Left Unsaid

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anger Management, Insecure Louis, M/M, Multiple Personalities, Schizophrenia, idk - Freeform, mentally ill, they're all insane basically
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-13
Updated: 2014-11-22
Packaged: 2018-02-25 06:06:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2611193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A hospital for the mentally ill. There's Harry, bipolar with another personality. Liam, depressed and somewhat quiet. Niall, with more personalities than a school playground. Zayn, panic attacks... And the new kid. Louis. No one really knows what's wrong with him. But they're going to find out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Slightly crazy

"Mum, please," I beg. "I want to go home, I don't want to be here!"  
"It'll be ok Harry," Mum says, placing her hand on the window. "I'll be back next week to visit again. I love you."  
"Please!" I scream after her as she leaves. "Mum! Let me out! Get me out of here! PLEASE! HELP ME! MUM! GET ME OUT!"  
As soon as I start pounding my hands against the window, the guards come over to drag me away. I hate it here, in the asylum. All I have is bipolar disorder. They give me medication to calm it down, but no! I can't go out in the real world because that's too dangerous.  
No, it's because I'm not safe! If I do something like try to suicide because of you then that won't be good.  
Oh shut up, you don't understand.  
I understand perfectly well, thank you very much.  
"Hey Harry!" Zayn calls, jogging over. "How was the visit?"  
"Horrible," I snap.  
"Woah, calm it," Zayn defends, holding up his hands. "I didn't mean to upset you, mate."  
"Sorry..." I mutter, looking to the floor.  
"Not your fault," Zayn shrugs. "Besides, it could have been worse."  
"How so?"  
"Niall." Zayn says, sighing.  
Zayn, unlike me, Niall and Liam, doesn't have parents. Or any family at all. He's here because he survived the murder at his house by hiding under his bed... He's been having severe panic attacks ever since. So, he sits back and watches the others having their visits.  
"What happened?" I frown in worry.  
"Noah came out," Zayn mutters.  
Noah is one of Nialls many personalities. He has three, apart from his own. Paul is aggressive; swearing and yelling a lot. Kieran is quiet, unsocial... Then there's Noah. Noah really, really hates Nialls parents. Noah was the one that tried to kill them, which is why Niall is in here. Luckily, none of his other persona's hate the boys and I.  
"Should we go see if he's ok?"  
"Nah, Liam's gone to his room." Zayn reassures.  
Liam I don't understand. There isn't really anything wrong with him. Not anymore at least. He had severe anxiety and couldn't even speak to anyone, simply stutter. But he's made friends with the others and I. Ever since, he has started speaking more and recently begun asking the cooks for food instead of indicating. He's gotten so much better, it's rather miraculous.  
"Besides, you need to worry about something else." Zayn says, grinning. "You've finally got a room mate."  
"Fucks sake," I mutter annoyed.  
Stomping away from Zayn, I turn the corridor towards my dorm. I've told the staff here many times that I won't have a room mate. Not just because he might annoy me but because I might end up having, what I refer to as 'fit's.  
"Oh, hey!"  
I freeze in the doorway. The lad is stood awkwardly, smiling brightly at me. His hair is messy, like he's been tugging at it constantly and he has scratch marks on his eyes... Like he tried to... To claw his eyes out or something.  
"Hi..." I trail off, unable to react.  
He hesitates, looking left towards... A blank wall. Why is he here? What's wrong with him? Did someone attack him? Did he do that to himself?  
"I'm Louis, by the way." He introduces, his smile more forced now.  
"I'm Harry." I reply, smiling properly.  
Wait, I'm smiling properly? I haven't smiled properly in ages.  
"Oh my god!" Louis exclaims, quickly hurrying over and pocking my cheeks. "You've got dimples! That's so cool!"  
I can't not grin, laughing lightly. Louis is rather small and, honestly, adorable. How could someone so cute end up in here?  
Oh for fucks sake, cute? Really?  
Fuck.  
I quickly step back, looking to floor.  
"Um, sorry..." I mutter, trying to stay in control. "I, uh... I think I might start snapping."  
"Like, angrily?" Louis frowns, confusion in his tone.  
"Yeah... I, uh, have bipolar..."  
Silence. What have I done? Maybe he's scared of me now?  
Fucking hell, of course he's scared of you. You're a little shit.  
Why won't you leave me alone?  
Why would I?  
Your simply a symptom of my bipolar and minor MPD. That's it.  
You're crazy. You're insane.  
Wow, alter-ego, calm yourself.  
Don't get sarcastic with me.  
I'll be sarcastic with myself if I want to be.  
"Harry?"  
"Yeeees?" I ask, looking up. "Sorry about that, zoning out."  
"I'm scared." Louis admits.  
Shutting the door, I pull him into a hug and he- after tensing at first- hugs back.  
"You've nothing to be scared of." I reassure him. "Everyone here is awesome."  
"Harry, you better not be nude!" Liam says, knocking on the door.  
"Fucking hell, Liam, it was once!" I snap, pulling out the hug to yank the door open. "And it was one AM, what did you expect? A tea party?"  
"Don't get funny with me," Liam warns, waggling his finger at me. "Besides, you could use that attitude for something else."  
"What?"  
"Niall won't come out his room," Liam admits reluctantly. "Well, Paul. You know what he's like he-"  
"Won't come out unless I argue with him, I know." I mutter, before turning to Louis brightly. "You can come too, if you want. Niall can get a bit scary at times, but he hasn't got a bad bone in his body."  
"Um, sure." Louis agrees shyly.  
"Liam, this is Louis- my new room mate." I introduce. "Louis, this is my mate Liam."  
As we head round to Nialls room, they start chatting. They get along quite well actually.  
"Hey Harry," Zayn says sadly as we aproach. "Sorry about this."  
"It's fine." I say, before harshly banging on Nialls door. "Niall? Open up!"  
"Niall isn't here!" Niall yells, irish slightly rougher than usual as Paul. "Fuck off!"  
"No, Paul, open the door!" I snap. "Or i'll fucking force my way in!"  
"As if you fucking can!" Niall counters... Well, Paul.  
"I've done it before, haven't I?"  
"Once!"  
"Which means I can this time now, open the fucking door!"  
"No!"  
"Paul!" I warn. "I'm warning you."  
Zayn has backed away and, out the corner of my eye, I can see Liam standing infront of Louis- who looks terrified.  
"No." Paul says difiantly.  
Fucking cunt, I'll show him.  
No, please! We can-  
"Uh, Zayn, you might want to-" I begin to say.  
Shut up, I've got this!  
I smash my foot into the door before I can argue against it. The door easily slams open, the lock breaking and top hinge falling off.  
"LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE, YOU FUCKING CUNT!" Paul... Niall... Who gives a shit!  
He glares at me with a red face.  
"I did warn you," I say, calming down. Shit, he's going to kill me.  
With a cry of rage, he tackles me. With a yelp, I fall back and Niall-- Paul slamming his knee into my stomach. He froze for a moment, his whole facial expression changing from rage to shock as he stared at my pained expression.  
"Can you... Get off?" I wheez. "This really hurts."  
"Oh god, mate," Niall says, in his Noah voice. "I'm so sorry!"  
He quickly stands up, pulling me up with him. For a small lad he's rather strong.  
"I swear Paul needs a leesh," Noah notes. "All I did was complain about Nialls arse-whole parents and suddenly Paul decides it'd be fun to smack a staff member. Of course, the coward then locked himself in there." Noah nods to the dorm.  
"Maybe you should stop being a dick to Nialls parents." I point out. "Anyway, when's Niall coming out?"  
"I don't know. Soon." Noah shrugs, glancing behind me. "Who's the new kid?"  
Looking back, I notice Louis heading over to us. He glances at the broken door before turning to me.  
"What was that?" He asks with raised eyebrows. "Liam said it's your bipolar but..."  
"I have minor MPDs." I say, continuing to explain when he looks confussed. "I have multiple personalities like Niall," I nod to Noah, who shrugs. "But I only have one other personality... He's rather snappy and violant. But I've only known him to be violant with Paul."  
"He and Paul have gotten into worse arguments than that one, trust me." Noah says, waving his hand to the door. "It's all fine though, they're a pair of cowards who won't actually face each other."  
"Fuck off," I snap.  
"You fuck off," Noah chuckles before turning back to Louis. "The only issue with Harry, is he swaps between his every time he gets slightly annoyed- which is why it clashes with his bipolar."  
"Oooh." Louis says, shifting awkwardly.  
"I don't normally get violant, I swear." I say quickly.  
"He might break your door, but that's the worst." Zayn jokes, gently pushing my shoulder. "Coward."  
"Little fucker," I joke back, pushing his shoulder.  
Soon, we're having a 'cat-fight'. Niall starts laughing. It's Niall because none of the others laugh like him.  
"Hey Niall," I grin before turning back to Zayn.  
"Whenever I get back, yeh always doin' somet'in' silly," Niall chuckles.  
"This is so weird." Louis says in complete seriousness, before grinning. "It's awesome


	2. Group is the worst

"Does he have a name?" Louis randomly asks.  
He is laying on his bed, on his stomach, while I'm sat. We're just chatting. We've been doing this for the two days that Louis' been here. Because he's new, he hasn't had the torture of group or single sessions. He says it's probably more boring to miss them and be sat alone. I kind of agree.  
"Who?" I frown.  
"Your other persona," Louis shrugs, looking at my curiously. "All of Niall's do, but you've not mentioned a name."  
"He doesn't really have one, I guess." I shrug. "I've always called him... Him."  
"Does he not want a name?"  
"No."  
"Come on," Louis whines. "Name!"  
"Jacob?" I frown, before suddenly; "That's the worst name ever, god."  
"Kieran?" Louis says excitedly.  
We go through names for half an hour until he decides on Damon.  
"Ok, Damon it is." I sigh with relief. "That was so annoying."  
"I know, but at least I can refer to him by a name!"  
"As if you could catch me quick enough," I... Damon says. That's confusing when I think about it.  
Louis rolls his eyes before grinning at me.  
"I get to go to the sessions with you today!" He says excitedly.  
"You really love company, don't you?" I tease.  
His face flushes, but he laughs none-the-less.  
Later on at lunch, Louis and I continue our chatting. The other boys didn't try talking to us yesterday, it's like we're caught up in our own environment.  
Gay.  
Oh shut up, ass.  
"And then, bang!" Louis says in an eerie tone.  
"What? What happened?!" I ask desperately.  
"My mum walked in!" Louis says quietly, dramatically.  
We're talking about the first dirty movie he watched. I giggle a bit... Too high at the thought. I don't know, I've a dirty mind.   
"By the way, when's group today? It changed yesterdays."  
"Its after medication."  
Everyday, we go back to our rooms at the bell for lunch end and have our dose of medication. It's mildly helpful. They're careful about the medication they give us so that they can eventually wean us off when need be. I, at first, had seven every seven hours. Now, luckily, it's been reduced to three in the morning, four in the afternoon and six at night. Louis, oddly, hasn't got much. Two tablets in the morning, two in the afternoon and three at night. It's even weirder that he doesn't seem to have anything wrong with him and I'm not just going to ask, it'd be rude. I've been 'fighting' Damon so he doesn't ask.  
"Hey Louis, why-" Damon begins, but I cut him off by making some odd noises.  
"What?" Louis asks, raising his eyebrows.  
"I-" Damon begins, but I make the noises again and Damon doesn't speak until I stop. "Harry, you're such a prick."  
"Guys, can't you argue internally? It's so weird to hear it." Louis points out.  
"Harry won't let me speak!" Damon exclaims indignantly, me taking back over. "Well you're being rude."  
"Harry, let him speak."  
"But-"  
"Harry."  
Go on then, I think reluctantly.  
"Ok, finally." Damon groans. "Louis, why are you here? Harry's confusion is getting fucking ridiculous."  
"Harrys?"  
"No, no, no, no." I say insistently, before Damon says: "He doesn't understand why you're here because you-"  
So, resorting to code red, I squeeze my eyes shut, yelling and covering my ears. God, I must look... Oh, right, I'm in a hospital for the insane. Soon, two guards are dragging me away.  
"Get off, cunts!" Damon screams... No, you twat, stop fighting! "Don't touch me!"  
"Calm down, before we have to sedate you!" One of the guards snaps at me.  
"I'm trying!" I exclaim desperately. "He doesn't like people grabbing him!"  
"Stop!" Niall's voice echoes through the silent hall. "You need to stop!"  
"Get off him!" Zayn screams- literally- catching on. "Stop, it won't end well!"  
"He's going to have an attack!" Niall yells at the top of his lungs, which is goddamn LOUD.  
But they're fucking right!  
HARRY GET THEM OFF ME!  
I'm trying!  
FUCKING CUNTS, GET THEM OFF ME!  
I CAN'T DO ANYTHING!  
YES YOU CAN!  
FUCK!

Sitting in the white room, I keep punching the softened walls. I think I've been in here for an hour and I've not stopped punching.  
"Let. Me. Out!" I scream, punching between each word.  
"Harry, calm down!" My counsellor says on the other side of the door.  
"Harry is calm!" Oh, it's Damon speaking. "I'm not!"  
"Well, let Harry take over then."  
"I can't! Let me out!"  
"Well, I have to for group." She explains. "But not until you calm down."  
"Ok," I agree, practically dragging Damon back. "It's Harry."  
She lets me out happily, knowing it isn't Damon. She walks me to group, like I need a babysitter.  
"Have fun." She says with a smile.  
"Ugh," Damon and I both say to her. That was odd.  
Not an alter-ego now, am I?  
Go away.  
"Harry!" Niall exclaims, running over to me and hugging my waist tightly. "Are you ok?"  
"I'm fine." I chuckle. "Got white room for a bit, that's all."  
"Come on, there's a space next teh Louis." Niall grins.  
So, I end up sat between Louis and Niall.  
"What was that about?" Louis frowns. "You were just being annoying to Damon then suddenly, 'he's going to have a fit'?"  
"Damon doesn't like people grabbing me like that." I explain. "For someone who argues with me a lot, he tries to look after me most of the time."  
Louis smiles, like it's adorable. Meh. It mildly is.  
Stop being a softy.  
"Hey guys!" Our group leader, Doctor Martin, greets. "Groups insession, straight talk only in here. So, as you all know by now, we have a new kid; Louis."  
"Welcome to School Insanity," Ed smirks.  
Ironically, Ed and I used to be friends outside of here. We simply lost contact in here. But that never stops him from leaning over the person beside me- Louis in this case- and high fiving me. I can't not chuckle at him.  
"Ed, that's not funny." Doctor Martin scolds. "You could have insulted someone."  
The room fills with people denying any offense taken. In Fact, almost everyone said it was funny. Ah, this group sometimes.  
"Ok, calm down." Doctor says with a smile. "So, Louis, is there anyone you've made friends with so far?"  
"Yeah, I've got a mini gang!" Louis jokes.  
"Who's in your group?" Doctor martin grins happily, as though shocked he has friends.  
Bitch.  
"Well, Liam, Niall, Zayn and Harry."  
"It's good that you and Harry get along," Doctor says with a sad sigh- Oh here we go. "What with the last room mate. Harry, why don't you explain?"  
I can't not roll my eyes- even if it was Damon who did it.  
"Harry?" Doctor repeats impatiently.  
"How about I explain?" Damon snaps.  
"No, Harry explain." Doctor insists.  
"No, no, wait," Damon chuckles... Shit. "I've warned you ass wholes before; I don't like my space being invaded. It's all well and good me saying that but you should-" I quickly gained control- I don't need another white room trip. "Do what you think is right and oh god that was so rude."  
"So, Harry," Doctor tries again, angering Damon. "Explain?"  
Damon, don't you dare.  
SHE'S A BITCH!  
I know that, but do you want the white room?  
... No.  
Then shut the fuck up.  
"Well, the guy put with me had ADHD and I have OCD." I say slowly, calculating everything going on with Damon. "If he messed up his own it'd be fine but-" Damon continues from there, unfortunately. "When he goes into other peoples stuff and messes it up it's horrible. And to mess with our medication? Twat."  
"So, what did you do?" Doctor asks, before quickly adding. "Not Harry, as he is too gentle."  
"I may or may not have smashed the door in." Damon snaps defensively. "I didn't throw it at him, I've told you this before. But no, you still put Harry in the white room."  
"Thats enough-"  
"No, it's not." Damon snaps, leaning forward with a glare. "You put Harry in the quiet room. He made me promise not to do anything, he told you that and you still kept him in there. For a week! Then you have a go at me for flipping out at you? You wanted Harry to tell Louis what happened, I have simply made sure the whole story is told."  
On that note, Damon leans back and lets me sit awkwardly. Glancing left, Niall and Zayn are grinning at me proud, Liam trying to hide it. Right; Ed is red from holding in his laugh and Louis has a blank expression, staring at the floor. Fuck.  
Calm down, Harry.  
I can't!  
Harry, deep breathes, it's fine. It was a long story and he probably couldn't fully keep up. It's fine.  
Ok... Ok.  
"Moving on." Doctor concludes.

Group was like routine after that. Damon made sure he stayed silent, though I think he's a bit depressed at the moment. Or worried about me... Probably both. Louis has barely spoken.  
"Bedication," The nurse jokes, smiling kindly.  
I chuckle lightly, accepting the small plastic tub of pills before frowning. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight?!  
WHAT?  
WHY IS THERE SO MANY?  
WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY TRYING TO SAY?  
ALL YOU DID WAS DEFEND ME!  
YES, HARRY, I FUCKING KNOW!  
"Um, nurse," I clear my throat. "Why is there so many?"  
"You know the routine Harry," The nurse sighs sadly. "Three whites in a week and you get re-tracked."  
Re-tracked as in the whole therapy is restarted. Including medication.  
"I've only had one..." I say quietly.  
"Nialls door and the argument with Zayn count." Nurse says softly, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Come on, Harry, don't make this more difficult."


	3. Lonely Love

Chapter three - Lonely Love  
| Harrys POV |  
"Hey, uh, Harry?" Louis asks. We've not spoken for a week.  
"Yes, Louis?"  
"Do you think, uh, I could talk to Damon?"  
"Damon isn't in at the moment," I admit reluctantly.  
"Harry, don't be like this."  
"I'm not joking or trying to be cruel," I say, giving him a desperate look. "With the medication they're giving me, Damon can't do anything. It's so silent in here!" I point to my head, even though it probably looks insane.  
"How long will it be until they start to lower the medication?"  
"Should be tomorrow..."  
"Just hold tight."

At lunch, I sat with the lads. I'm not bothering to talk to them, why should I? It's not the same with out Damon.  
"Harreh, what do yeh t'ink?" Niall asks, happy as ever.  
With a grunt, I get up.  
"Harry, get back here!" Zayn calls after me as I walk towards the exit.  
Out the corner of my eye I can see the guards heading over so I break into a run. We're not meant to leave the hall until dinners over.  
"Hey!" The first guard shouts. "Get back here!"  
Oh, shit, where's my dorm?!  
IDIOT! Left, It's left!  
"Harry Styles!" The guard yells.  
Grinning, I follow Damons instructions. Instead of getting to the door, I arrive infront of a fire door and Damon quickly takes over, exiting. The drop is high and will probably kill me.  
"Damon, what are you doing?" I ask fearfully.  
Getting out of here!  
"No, no, please," I plead. "Damon, stop!"  
But, as usual, I can't stop Damon from climbing onto the bars. The wind is gentle, but it still makes me sway.  
"Oh god!" The second guard exclaims. "Get down from there!"  
"I can't!" I sob, realising the tears.  
It's ok, Harry, it'll be ok.  
I don't want to die.  
"Harry!" That's Zayn.  
"NO!" Niall.  
"Get off! I can help!" Liam.  
And that scream, is Louis.  
Harry, stop thinking of them.  
"Please," I whisper. "Please, I don't want to. I don't want to."  
Calm down, Im going to keep you safe.  
"I don't want to!" I exclaim, sobbing. "I want to get down! Please..."  
Suddenley, a thin pair of arms wrap around my waist and bring me tumbling back. Damon goes silent, again. Like he isn't here anymore. Good.  
"You scared me to death, Harry."  
Louis. Louis pulled me back?  
"I'm sorry," I whisper, sitting up like Louis had. "I... He..."  
"It's ok," Louis hushes, pulling me into a hug. "It's ok, I got you."  
Even though he's smaller, he wraps his arms around my torso and holds me tightly. My arms wrap around his waist, face in the crook of his neck.

"Harry, you need to sort this out." Mum says quietly, giving me 'puppy eyes'. "They told me about the resart and suicide attempt. You were doing so well..."  
"It wasn't my fault," I defend. "Niall wouldn't come out his room unless Damon got angry with him and Zayn started to anger Damon. Plus you know he hates being grabbed!"  
"Damon?"  
"My other persona." I snap.  
"Harry, don't get like that with me." Mum scolds.  
"Well maybe you shouldn't have locked me in here!" I exclaim, punching the window. "It's not my fault!"  
"Harry, you need the help from here. I'm helping you, why can't you see that?" Mum pleads.  
"Because it's your fault I'm like this! Why can't you see that?!" I yell back.  
"I never did anything to make you like this." Mum whispers fearfully.  
"I told you not to marry him! I told you he was bad news! I told you he'd only cause pain!" I continue shouting, tears brimming now- I've never told anyone but Mum this and now I'm yelling it too the whole asylum. "I told you! I was right, wasn't I? But look what YOU'VE DONE! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!"  
"Sorry ma'am," A guard apologizes, two of them dragging me away.  
"Harry!" Mum cries. "I'm sorry!"  
"I don't care!" I yell back. "It's too late!"  
"Harry, please!" Mum starts smacking the window now. "Baby please! HARRY, I'M SORRY!"  
"YOU SHOULD BE!"  
"Harry," Zayn sighs as the guards cuff my wrist to the waiting chair beside him. "You need to stop flipping out like this."  
"It's not my fault." I say through clenched teeth.  
"Harry, what happened?" Louis asks, beside me. Oh, didn't notice him.  
"Yelled at Mum." I reluctantly admit, noticing Louis' cuff. "Why are you cuffed?"  
Probably threw a freaking teady or something.  
Harry, you're gay I swear.  
Go away, Damon.  
"I threatenened my mum." He shrugs. "Wasn't that dramatic. I think everyone heard you yelling, though."  
"Louis," Zayn says in a warning tone.  
"It doesn't matter." I mutter. "I just hope I'm not interrogated about it."  
"You probably will," Zayn points out. "You know what your counsellor is like."  
"Tough."

"How'd it go?" Louis asks once I get back from my singular counselling session.  
"Horrible." I moan, collapsing on my bed. "It was mainly Damon telling her to fuck off."  
Louis chuckles.  
"Why am I not surprised?" He asks, grinning at me.  
I can't not laugh. He's a bit of an idiot at times.  
Harry, you like him ok. Admit it.  
What? Fuck off Damon.  
I'm right, though.  
No you aren't, I don't fancy anyone.  
I said like, not fancy. I said nothing about romance.  
But you meant it.  
How do you know that?  
Because I know you!  
No you don't.  
"Why can't I hit Damon? It's unfair." I whine to Louis.  
"Is he being annoying?"  
"As always!"  
You think whinning will get Louis to like you back? If you want to use that technique...  
Shut up!  
"Harry, stop paying attention to Damon," Louis says, rolling his eyes at me. "I'm trying to converse with you here." I can feel my face heating up- god, am I blushing? "I asked if this is really all we have to do here?"  
"What? Talking?" I frown. "Well, depending on what you're in for, they let you go into the library. Rarely, they'll lend out movies."  
"What do you mean, depends?" Louis frowns.  
"Like, I can't get one because it might influence my bipolar."  
"How would it do that?"  
"I have no idea. I read books before coming here and it had no influence on me."  
"I might try and get some out..." Louis trails off in thought. "Could you show me where it is?"  
"Course."  
On the way there, it's silent. I never know what to say to Louis and, luckily for me, the library isn't far from our dorm.  
"Hey, uh, can I read a book?" Louis asks timidly.  
"Names?" The librarian snaps, glancing between us.  
"Louis Tomlinson."  
"Well, I know I can't get one."  
"Name," She demands, glaring at me now.  
"Ok, ok, it's Harry Styles."  
After a pause of typing, she looks up at us.  
"Harry can go in. Louis, sorry but you can't." She explains in a monotone. "Harry, your track has been updated recently and you're allowed to take three books out or one movie. You're only allowed fairytales though."  
"Oh. Um, ok.." I frown, glancing at Louis.  
"Just go get a couple you like." Louis smiles.  
He wants you to get him one, idiot.  
I know that, Damon. I'm not that slow.

"What'd you get?" Louis asks once I'm out.  
I pause until we've gotten out of the librarians hearing range.  
"I got you peter pan." I say with a shrug, holding out the book. "And I got Pocahontas."  
"Cool!" Louis grins. "I love Peter Pan! Good choosing."  
"How'd I guess?" I smirk, referring to his wish to stay young  
Louis chuckles, gently slapping my arm.

Back in the room, me and Louis don't actually start reading the books.  
"I'm so used to speaking, it's odd to have a book." I admit.  
"I don't normally read, anyway." Louis chuckles.  
"Did we just get books for no reason at all?"  
"I think so."  
Soon, we're both laughing.  
"We could have just stayed in here after all," Louis says between bursts of laughter.  
After a while, we calm down. I shake my head, grinning still.  
"What shall we chat about then?" Louis asks, tossing the book aside.  
"What do we normally talk about?" I ask, putting my book aside.  
"Um..." Louis hesitates. "We haven't really, uh, spoken in a while."  
"Right..." I mutter.  
That's when I notice. I can't help but lean foward, narrowing my eyes slightly.  
"What?" Louis frowns. "Is there something on my face?"  
"They've almost completely faded!" I point out, grinning after.  
"What have?"  
"Those scratches, they're almost gone!"  
Louis' face dawned in realisation, then he grinned as well.  
"Really?"  
"Yeah!"  
Jumping up, I go over and slowly go to run a finger over them. I don't know why I am, I just feel like it. They aren't scabby at all, smooth and almost white.  
"You won't be able to see them soon," I say, smiling widely.  
"Thanks..."  
"For what?"  
"Not asking about them," Louis shrugs. "The other lads asked and backed off when I asked them to drop it."  
"Damon sort of asked," I point out.  
"Yeah, but you're Harry."  
No one has ever pointed that out. Everyone always reminds me that Damon is, by default, me. That's why I never named him. Because I was always told he's me.  
It's because he cares, idiot.  
"Harry?"  
"Um, yeah, what? Uh..." I mumble, going back to my bed and sitting down heavily.  
Holy shit.  
You're so shocked and I don't understand why.  
No one... The first...  
For gods sake Harry, you're so smitten.  
"Harry, are you ok?"  
Louis is watching me with a frown, looking worried.  
"I, uh, yeah, I'm fine."  
"If you're sure..."


End file.
